|leo miser vulneratus|
a magistra nunc celatus
nec a pueris sat amatus :(
They don't have homework. They don't have vocab lists to memorize. They don't have quizzes. They don't have grammar lessons. They don't have dialogues to recite. They don't have tests. All they have to do is listen, and respond, or at least stay awake. But they don't like listening, and they don't like responding, and they don't like staying awake.
They don't like stories. They don't like reading. They don’t like books. They don't like worksheets. They don't like games. They don't like myth. They don't like culture. They don't like anything I do. Why do I do it? I do not know. I really don't know right now.
Right now I don't know what to do. Or rather, I do. There is one very home point here, and that is that they don't respect me. There is only one reason they don't respect me: me. Arguably, another reason is that they do not know what respect looks like because they have precious few examples. It would help a lot if I were strong and positive enough to treat them respectfully at all times and thus set an example. I am not, not in the face of this kind of behavior for five periods a day. Even those who love me talk over me and give me attitude and ask me extremely personal questions. Those who do not love me are much worse, but it hurts less.
I have thought a lot about some solutions to this. It's also worth saying that this is probably a minority of students. In my next post I'll talk about some of my potential solutions, but for right now I just want to say this: teaching is hard. A lot of the time online it looks like CI classrooms are all perfect wonderlands of happy little children who love learning. They're not. Everyone has hard days, weeks, or months, even the veterans. Keep it up, as much as you can, and forgive yourself when you can't. You're not alone.